Farewell, recalcitrant cauliflower who refuses to flower

seed packets should say which seeds are picky

Picky plant needs exacting care

Wave bye-bye to the nice cauliflower seedlings, all nine of ’em. That’s right, the ones that’re supposed to be eight days from harvest but haven’t yet produced a hint of a flower.

They’re headed to the Great Rabbit Heavenly Field in the Sky, out next to the yellow squash near the puddle under the evergreen, where I’m preparing a bunny smorgasbord, one wilting course at a time.

It turns out that what was not said on the seed packet is that cauliflower is an extremely picky plant. None of this “Stick the seed in the ground and out pops something to eat” stuff. Oh no. Nuh.uh. You’re going to work for that cauliflower ‘n cheese bake, son.

Turns out also that growing cauliflower is not a spur of the moment decision. One guideline I found said that we should begin preparing our cauliflower bed soil “a year before planting” since cauliflower needs very well cultivated grounds. Drat, and I’d already stowed my time machine for the season.

Now if some nice greenhouse manufacturer wants to come set up a 15’x20 prototype in my yard to test for, oh say, 18 to 24 months (free, please), then I will certainly give cauliflower another shot. Please direct inquiries and offers to my admin [@] lassgroup.com email address. Thanks.

From Here to Maturity: Cauliflower needs to morph into cauliflower soon

jade cauliflower compared with seed packet

Doesn’t look all that cauliflower’y for now…

The back of the package says, “Harvest 60 days.” I beam with anticipation. I love cauliflower – steamed, roasted, baked, pan-fried, covered with a tangy low-sodium lemon spray.

Then I do the count of days between when the cauliflower was seeded and when it sprouted, and out 60 days. Cauliflower for dinner on the 26th of June!

Then I look at the package picture as I look at the cauliflower plants. When exactly is this dude going to look like a cauliflower, anyway? By my calculations, it has 13 days to turn into what I see on the package. I’m assuming it’s not going to happen overnight – but no assumption is out of range for the neophyte gardener that I am.

Do you have a good pictorial guide that shows what to expect at the various stages of cauliflower becoming cauliflower? Anyone?