Telling little-boy squash blossoms about the bees and the birds

squash blossoms

Lots of squash blossoms but no squash

It struck me as strange that the dining room is awash with huge orange squash blossoms and yet there’s nary a sign of a squash in sight. This could have a lot to do with the fact that there’s nary a sign of a bee in sight.

If there WERE signs of a bee in the house, I would be writing this missive from the safety of my car, windows up and AC blasting, driving as fast and as far from our house as I can possibly get. I would also be frantically screaming for a certain tall, dark and handsome someone (specifically the one I’ve been blissfully married to for 21+ years who puts up with my occasional nutty hobbies like obsessive indoor amateur gardening and mozzarella-cheese-making-attempting) to please be so kind as to remove the bee from our house so I can come back home with my sanity intact.

I don’t do bees or wasps. Or bugs or worms, or spiders or ants. Or snakes. Especially snakes. Gad, why am I gardening? I must be out of my skull.

To Bee or Not to Bee

Acting on some past-life-as-a-gardener instincts , I grabbed a handful of q-tips and carefully dabbed from one flower to another, swapping out q-tips each time to prevent – something, I don’t know.

squash blossoms, males on right

Females on left; males on right

I was feeling very proud of myself in my new role as Indoor Queen Bee and thought I’d write about this breakthrough. In preparation, I searched for an authoritative site covering indoor gardening and pollination issues- and found a very nice one in the University of Florida IFAS Extension, crammed full of Latin terminology (a dead giveaway), complete with very clear illustrations (one of which I’m borrowing to demonstrate my – well, you’ll see).

Imagine my chagrin when I learned that I’d very carefully carried squash powder from four male flowers to four other male flowers.

Go ahead and laugh. You’re safe from a surprise squash-bag-in-the-back-of-your-car – for NOW.

On an Entirely Unrelated(?) Bee Pollen Note

So what’s the big deal about bee pollen? Apparently quite a bit of a big deal. According to this Bee Pollen Benefits report I found, bee pollen can

  1. facilitate weight loss,
  2. reduce cholesterol,
  3. help fight cancer,
  4. help build up immunities to allergens,
  5. increase your energy and endurance,
  6. boost your immune system,
  7. lower stress,
  8. boost metabolism,
  9. lower blood pressure,
  10. balance hormones,
  11. alleviate arthritis inflammation,
  12. stave off premature aging,
  13. reduce insomnia and
  14. manage your online banking.

Ok, kidding about the online banking part, but the others are serious. So, in the interest of keeping us all healthy and stress free, I’ve also included some bee pollen sources below this post. (Fine print in footer.)